Thursday 5 May 2016
100 WC Week #16
Walking on Sage was sweaty palms, the crowd cheered my name. Suddenly I checked on one of the cords on the stage in common. I was so embarrassed. Jumping up off the ground, running backstage I told him I wasn't going back on stage. They told me: " It's okay. Just go out there and act like nothing happened." I know I did and went back on stage and dance like nobody was watching. I guess it only takes one to change something or someones mind.
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In your first sentence I think you meant the word' stage' and also on your second sentence I think you meant the word 'tripped' You should explain who you told that you wouldn't go back on stage so the reader knows who you're talking about. You should also explain who 'they' were. Remember to start a new line every time a character speaks. Nice story though!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stich, also I think you ment with instead of was in your first sentence.
ReplyDeleteYou dont need a colen, you can just use a comma, also I was a little bit unsure of what happened in the 2nd sentence. Other than that I thought you did a good job!