Shower
Ring! "Finally schools over" said Sydney while walking out of what she called prison.
"Hey honey!" her mom said when she sat in the car.
"Hi mom." Mumbled Sydney. She knew that her mom was about to ask all the questions of how her day was or if she had any boyfriends. Sydney walked in the house door after all that talking she try to avoid. She ran upstairs and went straight to the bathroom, Closed the door and heard singing in the shower. Suddenly the singing stopped and her grandmas head popped out unexpectedly. She was shocked to see her grandma so she bolted out.
I love your story the ending was kind of weird who was the she I didnt really understand that part but the rest is really good.
ReplyDeleteGood story. Remember that when someone is speaking there is a new line. Also, for the prompt there has to be something in front.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to use the feedback given to you by your peers. Be sure to use the correct punctuation for when someone is speaking as you are missing some commas and have extra periods. I also, notice that many of your sentences start with 3 and 4 letter words. Try switching this up a bit to make your story more interesting.
ReplyDelete