Wednesday 27 January 2016

100 WC Week #4

     School Bus

Running as fast as I could trying to catch the school bus, I tripped over my shoe lace... Laying on the concrete with my eyes half open, seeing red and blue blurry lights in the corner of my eye, My heart was beating at a slow pace, echoing in my head...
"Wake up Kylie!, it's time for math!" Inquired my teacher, So I ran out the door with my text book, note book, and a pencil.  I soon later that day realized that my hair was a frizz ball from sleeping. I couldn't care less.
       
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4 comments:

  1. Unknown27 January 2016 at 22:36

    I got a little confused near the ending so maybe you could make that more clear. Your had good words in your story which I really liked. Maybe somehow you could take out the ... in the beginning and make it clearer on what was happening during that time. Great story!

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  2. jjmonkey28 January 2016 at 13:34

    i didn't really understand the ending but the rest is pretty good.

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  3. Batman28 January 2016 at 13:38

    Good story. As Stitch said I got confused at the ending as well. I think that you should explain what happened to your aunt and maybe say that you woke up to explain that it was a dream. Also, on the fourth line when you said Inquired my teacher. So I Ran, I think instead of the period it should be a comma. Good story though.

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  4. Donut The Duck31 January 2016 at 18:17

    the ending is definetly weird and confusing like others have said and why were you seeing red and blue lights? You should explain more or not.
    I like the actual story line but not so much the description because it just doesn't make sense.

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