The Trip to the mountain that floats ubove Far Far away Kingdom
"Shreck!" Fiona yelled getting everything ready for their trip. "Did you grab your red boots and your umbrella for the weather?"
"Don't worry" Shreck replied, "I've got everything." Soon the carriage arrived with Donkey and The three blind mice. "I can't wait to get to the mountain that floated ubove far far away!" Donkey exclaimed. Two hours from their house and it was poring rain which made it hard for the driver to see. Donkey gasped as he saw the carriage rolling off the cliff. The carriage crashed and they vacationed on the ground until they got help. Those red boots and umbrella did help.
Your story is very creative and funny. I think you made a typo in pouring. Also, I get a little confused when it says they are going to climb a mountain that floated away so how could they get there?
ReplyDeleteGood story. I agree with Stitch that the part confuses me as well. Also, I think you could start your lead stronger like without dialogue.
ReplyDelete