"Here's the plan," Shinito inquired.
"you'll use your see through vision to find what's hidden through that wall while I fight the guards," Shinito stated.
"Deal,'' Scamp replied. Scamp and Shinito headed oposite directions in the darkest land fill. Shinito saw the gaurds and hid behind a corner. While Shinito was getting ready Scamp was standing at the wall. He turned on his vision and saw...
"Kyle!," his mom called disturbing his playing.
"You're late for high school." Kyle got took off his costume and ran out the door. Your never too old to play," Kyle stated.
Your'e story kinda of confusing, towards the end mostly. I would tweak it a bit. Also you put 'Kyle got took off his costume' which doesn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteGood story. There is a few grammar mistakes that you missed, like on the last line it says "Kyle got took off his costume". Also, you misspelled opposite. I would take time to read over your story out loud.
ReplyDeleteRemember to capitalize the beginning of your sentences. Some of your yours can be changed to you're because your is a possesive, while you're is the contraction for you and are.
ReplyDeleteYou have a very funny and creative idea for your story this week. Be sure to use the feedback from your peers to help improve upon your writing. Your concluding line sums up the tone and message you want to portray very well. Your line "You're late for high school." should continue from the previous line as it is still mom talking.
ReplyDeleteMake sure to use capital letters in a beginning of a sentence. You should read your story out loud if you want to make the story flow a bit better. Also, you should fix the last sentence as it confuses the readers.
ReplyDelete